The Penguin Has Left The Building

This past Thursday I was scheduled to attend a meeting around 12:30 PM on site in Fort Collins.  Normally, I dislike having meetings during the lunch hour, but since this was with someone I really wanted to talk to, I accepted.  Thursday arrived and I left for work at the usual time.  It was cold, maybe 13°F (-4.5°), but clear.  The drive most mostly uneventful except when I got North of 120th on I-25.  We starting getting fog.  Normally the fog is restricted to low lying areas near some of the river and streams that cross I-25.  Not this morning.  As a approached work the fog got worse and became a sort of freezing fog.  It was a 'I'm glad that I just changed my windshield wipers, defogger, and window washer fluid' sort of fog.  A peer through the bottom of the windshield and follow the tail-lights of the driver in front of you, who is doing the same thing, type of fog.  Not the worst thing I've driven through, but it should have been an indicator of what was going to happen today.    So when I got to Fort Collins as the sun rose, I felt that I deserved to treat myself to some sort of sugary thing at Pannera.  This I did.

The morning was the usual nonsense tracking down bugs and data.  My boss, who usually doesn't call me (he's in another state), did so asking something rather simple and unimportant.  What do you call the person that works in the cube next to you, your cube-mate?  My cube-mate says that another engineer says that there are layoffs going on here.  Interesting, I thought, but it didn't occur to me that my meeting wasn't going to be a normal one.  That is, until, one of the neighboring engineers was escorted out of the building.  'Oh dear', I thought.  Another engineer came into my cube to chat near the time that my meeting was supposed to occur.  That was when the guy I was supposed to meet came to my cube to bring me to the meeting room.  I guess at that point I realized where this was going.  This was my first layoff.  I've worked at a company where layoffs were a common occurrence, but it never came close to my unit/department.  (Thank goodness for the Cold War.)  I was at a company where I knew a layoff was coming, but I resigned with another job in hand before it occurred.

We went together into the meeting room where a gal from HR was waiting for us.  My boss was on a speaker phone.  (Ain't technology wonderful?)  The spiel was well rehearsed and almost pleasant.  I'm sure that's what was intended.  (I didn't notice it, but in the room next door was the office security dude, whom I knew fairly well.)  I smiled and was very accepting of the situation.  In fact, my calmness surprised even me.  I asked a couple of pertinent questions and signed the papers after reading them.  In this day and age (and economy) I guess the severance package was rather good.  Everyone was such a good sport.  As we left the room, accompanied by the security guy, I was allowed to log out of my computer and collect my small amount of stuff.  This consisted of one grocery store bag and my penguin.  I suppose a few sentences are in order about my penguin.  Actually, it's not mine, it was my SOs that she had in her office in Southern California.  I had borrowed it for my job in Colorado Springs where it sat in my cube.  (And posed for pictures in the snow outside our building.)  When I accepted a job in Fort Collins, it followed me.  There it resided on top of a filing cabinet in my cube where all could see.  It's been a fixture there for a few months short of 5 years.

As I left my cube, some of the engineers I had worked with came up and shook my hand.  (Others asked if I was on LinkedIn.)  On my way out of the office I did speak with a layoff counselor that the company had brought in.  They help you to re-write resumes and cover letters and such.  (I wonder if they understand social media?)  So, I definitely signed up for that.  So, with bag and penguin in hand, I walked out of the building into the bright and warm sunshine.  The mountains were sparklingly clear in the distance.  It was all rather surreal.  The drive was uneventful as well.

When I got home I got onto the computer and started emailing my friends and contacts to let them know about the layoff.  (I wonder, is it proper to send out announcements immediately about a recent layoff or is there a preferred waiting period?)  I felt like I was running on a wave of adrenalin.  I was focused like a laser beam (I can use that term correctly since I am a physicist).  I found that I felt them same way on Friday.  First thing in the morning (way too early) I was back on the computer sending emails, searching web sites, and sending resumes to folks.  People were replying to me making suggestions and forwarding information to others.  My network isn't huge, but they are a bunch of nice folks.  By the end of the day, I was feeling a little shaky, as one is wont to when running on nervous energy.  

So, I've had some time to think about my current situation.  In some ways, I'm sorry to say, that the layoff was a good thing.  First, it was a kick in my complacency (which I suppose will really hurt when the unreality wears off).  Next, in some ways, when you actually hate to go into work even when you work from home, it's time to go.