Vonnegut

After a particular bad day at work; and these days there are certainly a lot of them.  I felt like running away.  In fact, I did.  Well almost.  I jumped into the truck and sped off down the road.  Of course, no sooner than the garage door closed my boss tried to call me on my cell.  Thank goodness for cellular dead spots.  Unfortunately, he was quite persistent and tried my home phone.  My SO left a message on my cell (why again do we have these things).  I suppose it was fortunate that I did listen to the message and returned home.  I turned my computer back on and called my boss.  I suppose it was a good thing that I did because the problem I was freaking out about was not nearly as difficult as I anticipated.  Still, code with bad comments, no documentation, what else am I supposed to do?

Early the next morning I was cleaning off some piles of papers in my "office" and came across something I printed out in 2009.  It was a blog post from the A.V. Club entitled "15 Things Kurt Vonnegut Said Better Than Anyone Else Ever Has Or Will."  I vaguely remembered reading it on-line and then printing it out for reference.  Considering how I was feeling, it felt like the first item was written for me:  "I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"  I had forgotten what it was like to be happy.  Oh sure, you can say, you get happy now and then.  Yes, but I forgotten to notice.  And the person most important to me in my life, had noticed it too.  That's bad.  Very bad. 

That sort of stuff is hard for me.  I'm normally a very quiet and self-involved individual.  I don't have too many friends and the one's I do have tend to be physically far away.  You wouldn't think that this wouldn't require constant attention, but for me it does.  There are times that I wrap myself in my melancholy, and perhaps that is my creative muse, but it can feed back on itself.